Hazardous To Your Soul

Since one of the best ways to show God’s love is to identify which bands are gay, my hat is off to the fine people of Love God’s Way. But, why am I surprised?

After all, the very purpose of the organization is to demonstrate God’s Love through healing and teaching. The enlightened Donnie Davis is their charismatic leader:

And I must admit identifying those bands that might turn us into homosexuals is one of the most exceptional ways to exercise their Faith Ministry.

Donnie understands that gay bands are “one of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life.”

Be on the look out for:

--The Spores (endorse suicide)
-- Scissor Sisters
-- Rufus Wainwright
-- Merzbau
--Ravi Shankar
-- Wilco-
- Bjork
-- Tech N9ne
-- Ghostface Killah
--Bobby Conn
-- Morton Subotnik
--Cole Porter
-- The String Cheese Incident
-- Eagles of Death Metal
--Polyphonic Spree
-- The Faint
-- Interpol
-- Tegan and Sara
--Erasure
-- The Grateful Dead (AIDS)
-- Le Tigre
-- The Gossip
-- The Magnetic Fields
--The Doors
-- Phish
-- Queen
-- The Strokes
-- Sufjan Stevens
-- Morrissey(?questionable?)
--The Pet Shop Boys
-- Metallica
-- Judas Priest
-- The Village People
-- The Secret Handshake
-- The Rolling Stones
-- David Bowie
-- Frankie Goes to Hollywood
-- Man or Astroman-- Richard Cheese
-- Jay-Z-
- Depeche Mode
-- Kansas
-- Ani DiFranco
-- Fischerspooner
-- John Mayer
-- George Michael (texan)
--Angel Eyes
-- The Indigo Girls
--Velvet Underground
-- Madonna
-- Elton John
-- Barry Manilow
-- Indigo Girls
-- Melissa Etheridge
-- Eminmen
-- Nirvana
-- Boy George*
-- The Killers
-- Lou Reed
-- Lil' Wayne
--Motorhead
--Jill Sobule
-- Wilson Phillips
--DMX-- Lisa Loeb
-- Ted Nugent (loincloth)
-- Dogstar
-- Thirty Seconds to Mars
-- Lil' Kim
-- kd lang
-- Frank Sinatra-
--Hinder
-- Nickleback
--Justus Kohncke
-- Bob Mould
-- Clay Aiken
--Arcade Fire
-- Bright Eyes
-- Corinne Bailey Rae
-- Audioslave
-- Red Hot Chili Peppers
-- Panic at the Disco
-- Elton John(really gay)

It was nice of Donnie to add those pithy comments in parens.And I guess it makes sense Elton John not only gets commentary, but is listed twice.

But I’m afraid this may turn into the story of the late Donnie Davies once Ted Nugent and Eminmen get wind of it. And The Mob ain’t gonna be too happy when they see Sinatra on the list. Jay-Z may not be delighted either.

Donnie is aware of this, and though he gushes over the enthusiastic response he has received, it is asked that we help in the cause by submitting the names of any faggot rockers we may be aware of. This can be done by e-mail: donniedavies@gmail.com.

In the near future he hopes to have a more sophisticated add on system devised, which will permit the list to continue to grow after Donnie has long departed this world for better things.

Fortunately, Donnie has also given us a list of bands we can listen to and not be in danger of becoming gay:

-- The Right Brothers (a roaring lamb!)
-- Dresden Dolls
-- UnderOath
-- Cyndi Lauper
-- Falling Up
-- Flyleaf
-- THE TURNING
-- Disciple
-- P.O.D
-- Evanescence
-- By The Tree
-- Scott Reed
-- Michael W. Smith
--Jars of Clay
-- DC Talk
-- Danielson

Thank God I don’t have to purge Cyndi Lauper.

And whew, the Demolition Doll Rods are not on that gay list :

All the Teamsters, who enjoy their nude Yoga sessions at truck stops across the nation,will also be pleased.

Grandma is glad Liberace is not on the list. And I don’t see Barbara Streisand either.

God Bless.