Mombian Spaz Attack

Although she is the most important thing in my life, I do not spend a lot of time blogging about my daughter or parenting. One of the reasons is that I spend an awful lot of time up to my neck in the subject, and I actually do have other interests.

I also think it is kinda boring for everyone else. And I am certainly not qualified to advise anyone on the issues.

But today we had a perfect Mombian Storm, and my daughter was at the center of it.

The backdrop is this whole Lindsay Lohan/Britney Spears thing. I , like every other parent in America, am willing to cut off my right arm, if it would guarantee that my child never morphs into a troubled brat like those girls. I am realistic enough to know my powers are limited. I have seen fantastic parents with kids that broke their heart. And there are the lugheads who have raised a brain surgeon.

Nonetheless, it is disturbing, and I will do anything to avoid a fate like that, even though these kids come without any guarantees or warranties of any kind.

Anyway that has been in the back of my mind.

Today I had to get some office type items, so I ran into Walmart. Now, I do not generally patronize Communist China's largest retail outlet. But since I am now living out in the desert, kind of in the middle of nowhere, it is the closest thing to a mall, within a fifteen minute drive.

Of course, there were only two checkers and the line was twenty deep, not counting all the snot nosed kids—several of which belonged to the harried Mom in front of me. One of the little tykes picked up a toy car and asked Mom if he could have it. She told him next time. I saw the little shit pick it up and put it behind his back.

I followed them out of the store and the kid was still clutching his stolen merchandise. I am not an officious intermeddler, but I sincerely thought the lady might care that her son was starting out on a life of crime. So I spoke up. Big mistake. The bitch practically tore my head off, and the kid got to keep his ill begotten toy.

So that was the mind set when I got home.

Here in Arizona we are in the midst of the Monsoon Season. During this time of year warm air moves in from the gulf. During the day it is cooked in the desert heat and it results in sporadic and isolated deluges with thunder and lightening and all that fun stuff.

It also causes flash floods. There are dried river and stream beds that become torrents within minutes.

We have a gully nearby and I have given strict instructions there is to be no playing there under any circumstances.

So I am watching TV and there is a report of a twelve year old girl who nearly drowned yesterday in one of these flash floods cos she was playing in the dry riverbed. In walks Melanie with my daughter. She'd been busted down in the gully.

Mom got a little more than hysterical.

Sometimes around here I joke about spanking, but what happened next was not amusing for anyone.

In my mind the behavior clearly called for, what in our home is, the ultimate thermonuclear punishment—a pants down spanking with the back of a hairbrush.

I know I will probably be criticized, but gosh darn it, I am going to do what ever I can come up with to keep my child alive. And maybe I did spaz out a bit, but it is a whole lot better than the Trash Mom I met at Walmart.

The miscreant is now confined to quarters, and seems quite repentant.

And if she is as smart as I think she is, she will stay that way:)

Now I am going to go fix a pitcher of Margaritas.