San Francisco to Ban Cigarette Sales

The latest dispatch from the Nanny State is the proposed ban on the sale of cigarettes, and all other tobacco products, in San Francisco drug stores. It's enough to make me want to take up the filthy habit---except the last time tobacco touched my lips, I ended up sleeping with a man, and became a mom.

I love San Francisco. It was home during my fag hag phase. Some of my best friends still live in the city. There is the bay, the bridge, the fog—and the fact that no one looks twice when a guy in a batman suit jumps aboard a bus.

But what has happened to Babylon by the Bay?

I'm afraid that a wonderful tolerance and celebration of debauchery has been replaced by the tyranny of the progressive babysitters—which has no tolerance for politically incorrect hedonism—whether it be cigarettes or second amendment sisters.

Its no better than the old days when the SFPD busted reefer mad beatniks in North Beach , or the time Governor Regan sent in the troops to evict San Francisco State students who “dressed like Tarzan, had hair like Jane and smelled like cheetah.”

Mayor Gavin Newsom is concerned that having tobacco in drug stores sends the wrong message—since these are places of healing. Apparently he has never noticed the twinkies (which not only, as we all know are turning us into unhealthy fatties, but were, according to a jury, responsible for the killing of SF Supervisor Harvey Milk) or all the unsafe and ineffective cold remedies, or the two aisles of flavored corn syrup and carbonated water—well actually he did—he has proposed a tax on sugary drinks.

The worst thing is not that the ordinance will not cause one single person to quit smoking, nor that it will inconvenience a number of citizens.

Its not even that it will be a financial hardship for the small independent drug stores, that have to stock everything from money orders to femme butch porn, in order to scratch out a meager existence in today's world of Walgreen and CVS.

And while it is unspeakably offensive that Superstores like Wal-Mart and Costco, which only have a drug store department, will be exempt from the prohibition--that is not the worst thing.

The worst thing is the arrogance of it all--and the sad fact that a cabal of pathetic egos, who are the same people that lived to be student body leaders and hall monitors in high school, feel they have a moral obligation to force their subjects to behave themselves, even though they are not hurting anyone but themselves.

Tobacco is vile stuff. And if I smelled it on my kid's breath I would beat her to within an inch of her life. But thats just good parenting.

When did it become the obligation of the state to be our parent? Tobacco is a legal substance. Why should the San Francisco Board of Supervisors prohibit its sales in drug stores solely for the purpose of making sure that “the people” get the right message?

Besides, do they really think there is a great deal of confusion about the health benefits of tobacco because it is sold at Rite Aid?

However this kind of thing is par for the course in San Francisco.

With plenty of time on their hands, and an exaggerated sense of importance, the leaders of San Francisco can not resist controlling every aspect of their subjects' lives.

It's not just smoking. There is the backyard dog ordinance—which dictates the type and size of water bowls which pet guardians must use, as well as the precise amount of kibble to be fed to Pooch. And there is the proposal to put a seventeen cent tax on shopping bags—whether they are plastic or paper—which like the hefty sin tax on cigarettes, will not achieve their noble social objective, and is just another gimmick to tax the poor in order to subsidize the white wine and brie elite.

San Francisco demonstrates the universal truth that all Ideologies first become movements, then organizations, and finally they evolve into rackets.

The overpaid idealists of San Francisco can not understand why many of us find any of this offensive. And I admit, most of it is just mildly annoying, and good fodder for comedians.

But, it is also the type of thing that would make Stalin proud.

And the San Francisco Board of Supervisors are not unique—it's happening everywhere.

San Francisco is, just as it has always been, the trend setter.