300: An Oil and Leather Sizzler

I got roped into seeing 300 today. I told her that I had to make banana bread , but my sister insisted. I protested she knew my banana bread kicks ass, and I always share. No use-- it was nag nag nag. It was not so much her that wanted to see it, as my brother-in-law. And she didn't want to be alone with blockhead, as he salivated over another blood and gutter.

I know a lot of folks, primarily men, really got off on this flick--so I do not mean to offend. And, as my regular readers know, R for violence is never a show stopper for me--but this one was about as hammy as they come. But maybe it is just I don't get off on men running around in leather undies.

Most stupid people seem to agree the film is an allegory for Iraq. This is cos it's about a war with Persians. Persians apparently are the ancestors of the present day Iranians, or they at least lived in the same general area of the world some 2,500 years ago.

But I'll tell you, maybe its cos its been a long time since I had to write an artsy fartsy college theme paper , but I couldn't figure out whether the Spartans or the Persians were suppose to represent America in this poorly told tale.

However, there was no question it was about sexuality. Perhaps it is homophobic, perhaps homoerotic. I'm not sure. I need to check with my favorite gay film critic. I do much better with stuff like The L Word.

But the Spartans do have hardcore abs and the aforementioned leather underwear. So they must be the heteros.

The Persians are into piercing and orgies. Their leader is pretty well built--but has a suspicious orange tan. I also noted that he did not appear to have any body hair.

The conventional wisdom is the Persians are the gay side of this battle to determine the fate of civilization. And I admit, they certainly look like they could fit into the camp. But those buffed oily Spartans outfitted in leather speedos and strappy sandals---my god how gay is that?

If you're interested-- the flick is a butch v. femme thing. If there is any legitimate entertainment value, it seems to me it would only appeal to those into the male version of that particular gender bender.

There is an accusation that the Persian women are lesbian. This is wrong. They are straight girls caught up in a pretty frustrating situation.

Of course, if I wanted to get all Freudian, I would speculate on why some hetero producers, directors and writers would produce this genre. And if I wanted to piss a bunch of people off I would talk about why it has been so enthusiastically received by the red blooded male population.

But, I'm not gonna go there.

However, I was relieved to see the Ninja Turtles beat it out this weekend.

This is proof there is a god.